Have you ever wondered how the roads of hell would look
like? Or how you would feel like when you tread on such a path? Is it broad,
narrow, bumpy, or even worse?
Well apparently I’m talking about Bangalore a.k.a “Garden
city” of India; ironically I also call it “driver’s hell”. Driving in Bangalore
is not for the weak hearted, the amount of stress a driver in Bangalore
undergoes is immense. Driving is an intense job but it just requires minimum
skill. Start, gear it up, leg on the gas pedal, apply brakes (if you want) and
Bobs your uncle. Well this encourages many people from villages, college
drop-outs, cleaners etc to take jobs as drivers. Absolutely not a problem, their
just earning their daily bread! Now a day’s many underage minors also try hand
at this new found passion-DRIVING. And I hopefully think that driving through
the streets of Bangalore should make it to top 10 crazy things you should do before
you die!
But what gets on my nerve is the attitude with which people
drive, some of them lack basic sense, they suddenly and abruptly change lanes
leading to major accident and eventually it leads to congestion and some of
them lack spatial understanding when it comes to parking. And the reckless
driving through the pothole ridden Bangalore also adds to the growing tension
in Jay Leno’s head as to whether he can again use India as subject of humor and
what about Jeremy Clarkson??
Watch out! The " I " in INDIA stands for intolerance
The BBMP (the city corporation which is supposed to take care of Bangalore) along with the so-called ministers made ostensible promises saying that we’ll cover every pothole but end up
covering their own respectable positions! Some even also made a deal claiming”
You spot it and we’ll pay for it”. We spot it and that unscrupulous fool would've paid himself in crores.
Many people don’t admit the fact maybe superiority complex
or any such thing but it is difficult to drive when the traffic is at peak
hours, everybody’s tailgating you, and the unbearable raucous created by
honking, and to add insult to injury the roads are an eyesore to watch although
some parts like the NICE, the BIA and pretty much all the highways are in
pristine condition. But the problem is in the city and the best part is if you
thought craters are found only on the Moon, you are definitely wrong. Come
during the rainy season and watch how the road eats its way through to make a
crater, a potential killer.
Also a humorous fact is India is the only country in the
world where even animals can drive on the driveway!
Here are some of the signboards which appear on my road to
hell:
ROADS –Most
of the roads in Bangalore are never fully fledged, it is perpetually under the curse
of scope of improvement except that improvement never shows! With much difficulty
the contractor gets the tender, uses the subsidized materials allotted to him
and constructs the road which is soon- to- be defunct. Precisely within a month
or two either the water and sewage management guys or the telephone guys virtually
rip apart the road, do their job and close it up in haste. Also most the roads
which are laid are worn out within 6 months and those corrupted contractors
along with mayors, MLA’s promptly send out workers to alleviate the problem
which may spiral out of control when they come to begging for votes! Cheeky! Some
roads are in pathetic state and adds on as blot on the landscape. The worst
part is the patch-up work these guys do promptly, thus creating a new but free land
ride known as ”Up and down” which is very annoying!
TRAFFIC
– My
aunt from Canada recently visited us and she was horrified to see the traffic
in Bang-galore!. She was mortified. She used to frequently pop out her eyes,
sit upright, hold my mom’s hands and request my dad who is a conscientious
driver to watch out. She used grimacingly tell us that she felt as though the
vehicle was coming on her. Bangalore traffic is nothing but a never-ending
vortex of chaos. People tailgate each other, violate traffic rules (not that they
don’t do in other cities and countries) to piss off the police. And crossing a
major road is like crossing the mighty river Jordan! and sometimes impassable!
A quintessential site
to behold in B’lore (at peak hours). But sadly this is the case in any
metropolitan cities in India!
Recently Oprah Winfrey commented that she was really perplexed as to what the red light on the traffic signal indicated? She asked them tongue in cheek whether it meant for people to stop or was merely for entertainment. Organized traffic in B’lore is a chimera!
And especially during the night times, driving is a
herculean task. With crazy people putting on their high beams all the time and
a myriad of diverging light rays falling on your eye, I think it is equivalent
to poking your eye with a needle!!
VEHICLES – The
usage of the number of vehicles has proliferated since the last decade, thanks
to generous bank loans available we get in a jiffy. And Ah at last I’ve always
wanted to write about these creatures. The big yellow rodents (as my dad like
to call them). Though we cannot deny the fact that these have helped us so far
to commute to nearby malls and other locations, they do irritate us when they
suddenly make an impossible maneuver and come into our way and we hail abuses
at him, to which he is immune to! Moreover in these past years they have bred
like rabbits and are increasing in population!
Population control? Please!
PEOPLE
OF B’LORE – The audacity of the people of Bangalore is
commendable, some of these are self-proclaimed heroes who make crossing a busy
road as easy as a cake walk. Want to try? This is what they do: They just stick
their hand out beside their body indicating us to stop while they are busy
talking. And they do it without even looking at us!
Awesome? Heroic?
 |
| the police man violating the traffic rules! where's your helmet mister? |
The cocky taxi-wallahs are as quick as lightning, they come
from nowhere, honking continuously to make sure we see their finessed art of
driving! And obviously to grab eyeballs. Most of these guys are illiterate,
hailing from villages come to the city in order to make quick bucks. But I think I should also
mention the good work the B’lore traffic police are doing. Mending the rules
day by day (the speed limit is now 60 km/hr), meddling with their blackberries,
accepting bribes and yea, accepting bribes!!
Though Bangalore is known as the “Silicon capital of India”,
you still find beggars as small as 4 year old girl begging through the street
carrying babies(a gimmick used by these in order to melt their heart and extort
money!) and also you find people as old as 80 asking for alms! Some even start
their apprenticeship as cleaners, they begin to wipe the windshield of the
vehicles at traffic signals and then show their melancholic faces to demand
money!
To put everything in a nutshell always expect the unexpected during driving, Anticipate! And please keep your bloody complacency locked in the house!
HONKING
- I
think Bangaloreans have predilection towards honking. They honk when they want to express their anxiousness and disapproval.The irony lies in fact
that while most of the time they do it as a pastime, it’s a serious offense in
the US and UK (they use in case of emergency only). I think honking is popular
because of the mind-set of people, the pedestrian stands on the road, talks on
his cell (not knowing this might be his last) or smoking (knowing that each
puff punctuates a hole in his lung) .While the driver thinks he has done his
part by honking in order to arouse them from the state of being in their own
world.
But there is nothing much positive that can be done but one
thing!!!
GET
WITH IT (or
should I say DRIVE WITH IT)
And to end it all Happy
Driving!!! Watch out there comes the eunuch! (PS better pay!)
Survive Bangalore , Survive the World!
